Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Apart, we can go fast together. We can go far. As a married couple, our efforts don't merely add up, they multiply. Today, f is for friends. We'll discuss the power of working together to achieve goals and the stepbystep plan we use to achieve our goals together.
You. I'm gonna open it up. I'm gonna. And y'all.
[00:01:10] Speaker B: Have no idea how to start this.
[00:01:13] Speaker A: I don't know how to start this either. So why don't we just start?
[00:01:15] Speaker B: Let's just get started.
[00:01:17] Speaker A: Oh, speaking of that, I don't know if we want to edit this part out or not. That reminds me. So I had a dream. So we know we've been dreaming about this podcast for a while. Actually had a dream last night that we were doing the podcast, but you kind of like, overhauled, took over it.
[00:01:36] Speaker B: Oh, no.
[00:01:37] Speaker A: And instead of it being just us two, you decided to make it kind of a solo project.
[00:01:43] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:01:43] Speaker A: And it was you. And you had a literal live audience to do this in front of. And your key phrase in your podcast was let's get started.
But when you would say it, no one would bat an eye, but you would say it, all of a sudden, your mouth would turn into like, goofy's mouth, and it would go, let's get started.
It's like your teeth and everything, but no one would look at you any different. Everyone just faced you. And I just remembered, and I didn't even judge you either in the dream, but I was annoyed that you took over the whole. That was the only part that actually fazed me. Not that your mouth turned into a cartoon mouth in the middle of the.
[00:02:26] Speaker B: Most ridiculous thing is always a normal.
[00:02:28] Speaker A: Thing in a dream.
[00:02:29] Speaker B: That is very scary. I would never overhaul or take this whole podcast.
[00:02:33] Speaker A: I don't even know what that dream means or if dreams have your fears. I know it's like you're going to take control over everything and I guess turn into a cartoon character. I don't really know where. Yeah, I don't know where the goofy part came in and why it did the thing, and no one was fazed by it.
[00:02:50] Speaker B: It's probably because I smiled too much.
[00:02:51] Speaker A: I don't.
Yeah. Okay. Anyway, let's look at what we're going to talk about today.
I should say welcome to the FS Four podcast. I don't know if we want to welcome. We need to get kind of our little kinks out. We really know how we are introducing things.
[00:03:11] Speaker B: I just can't believe we're finally doing this.
[00:03:14] Speaker A: Yes.
I think we talked about this even before we were married, and now we are actually doing it, which is super.
[00:03:23] Speaker B: Crazy, which shows that time flies.
[00:03:26] Speaker A: Yes. I'm not ignoring you, but I do have a little thing where it's like, what are we going to talk about today? Oh, yeah, I'm looking down to look at that.
[00:03:34] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:03:35] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:03:35] Speaker B: You're not, like, texting someone?
[00:03:37] Speaker A: Not this time. I didn't put my phone on silent either. So if it goes off, guess we just edit that out. Yeah, usually it's, like, on vibrate or something along those lines.
[00:03:45] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:03:46] Speaker A: All right. So if my notes would stop shifting this much, like, I was just kind of in the way doing its own thing. Of course it is. All right, so what are we talking about today? So today on episode number one.
[00:04:03] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:04:03] Speaker A: Okay.
Doing the absolute most already.
Okay, so we are going to talk about or discuss what it means to be a power couple. I feel like when we first got together, a lot of people would say we were hashtag couples goals or, like, a power couple. And I just want to kind of discuss that in general. What does that look like? What is our perspective on it? Kind of what we've seen, like, on social media's perspective on it. And then along with the whole couple's goals discussion, I thought we could also talk about just some common obstacles we face just becoming a couple, that is a power couple or hashtag couples goals, and I guess things that we face personally. And then maybe you can draw something from that and see just maybe there's some overlapping themes or things that we've discovered in ourselves and then kind of along with the whole goals theme and being couples goals, I think it'd be good just to talk about, just in general, how to make goals together and how to achieve goals together. And so that's just kind of general where the discussion is going to go.
[00:05:25] Speaker B: Yeah, that sounds good.
[00:05:27] Speaker A: Moivian.
[00:05:29] Speaker B: You're so cute.
[00:05:30] Speaker A: I like how it's just like.
[00:05:31] Speaker B: Yeah, I think that's good, sweetheart. Let's go.
[00:05:35] Speaker A: Okay.
All right. So the first thing, or I guess the first topic of conversation would be just, I'll ask you first, since I'm the one to kind of look some of this stuff up. But when you hear the term power couple or you hear hashtag couples goals, which I don't even know if saying, like, hashtag something is considered old now, I always feel with, like, Gen Z, I feel like they're always slightly, like, judging me.
But you know what? We're millennials and we're going to embrace it. So when you see hashtag couple goals or hashtag power couple. I guess. What comes to your mind?
[00:06:15] Speaker B: I think the first thing that comes to mind is celebrity couples that everyone thinks are dominating the big screen and they're doing a bunch of really cool things. Yeah, that's like the first thing that comes to mind when I hear the term power couple.
But what makes them get that status? It's typically because they're at the top of their game. They have really good blockbuster films coming out or they just seem to vibe really well and everyone likes their chemistry.
So that's what pops into my head.
[00:06:52] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:06:52] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:06:53] Speaker A: Anything else? What about if someone describes an everyday couple as a power couple? Are there any traits that you would see that if you saw an everyday couple, you're like, oh, that's like a couple's goals type couple? Yeah.
[00:07:09] Speaker B: I think everyday people, not just celebrities, like, for an everyday power couple, it would be a couple that genuinely collaborates very successfully and they're able to get stuff done that they put their sights on. And it seems like nothing can get in their way because they put their heart into everything or they find ways to get it done, no matter how hard life gets or the circumstances that come their way.
[00:07:40] Speaker A: Yeah, I would agree.
I think the way I would probably describe it, kind of like how you described it, but I would say maybe along the lines of people who have goals or a couple that has goals not only makes goals together, but actually achieves them. So when I think of couples goals or power couple, automatically for me, I start thinking of either super fit people, maybe because that's my personal goal. Eventually, after having these two boys, it's getting more in shape, or I just see someone like a really extravagant vacation. But the more I think about it, it's like, what would be my goal or what I feel like a lot of our goals are as just like couples in general, is just to get along and not only make goals, but actually achieve the goals that we have. But sometimes, as we've seen with our marriage, it's not really the easiest to achieve goals together. And so I was just trying to think of what has kind of stopped us from, in some instances, from becoming like the couple that we want to be. So maybe our definition is not just like the typical power couple, but it's more along the lines of a couple that makes and achieves their goals. But I don't know if you can think of thing or maybe instances where we feel like maybe we were stopped from becoming like the couple we wanted to be or, I don't know.
[00:09:12] Speaker B: Yeah, I can think of some stuff. I think the biggest thing that hindered us at the beginning was we had gotten so used to accomplishing things as individuals. Because you were quite accomplished for, like, for all of your. No, all of your. Myself, I was just used to doing things on my own. So it was allowing yourself to be open to someone else, not taking the credit, but, like, sharing the credit.
[00:09:48] Speaker A: Yeah. I think our biggest issue, if I was kind of summing up what you're saying, is that it was hard to go from me to we, because I think a lot of the stuff that we've accomplished in our lives, like me becoming a CPA, you becoming a pharmacist, or other goals before having kids, like, I achieved good weight loss goals or your other goals that you've achieved in life. And it was achieved not just on our own through the power of the Lord, but also not with someone else. But it's so different when you're in a marriage or in a relationship, and it's like, not just focusing on yourself, but it's like, how do we collectively succeed in this life? How do we exactly collectively actually achieve our goals? And so I think that was the hardest part, trying to even think of some examples of just. I think one I can really think of is when we first trying to combine money and.
I don't know. Yeah, it was tough.
[00:11:04] Speaker B: I had to let go of a lot of pride and stubbornness.
[00:11:07] Speaker A: Yes, I will agree with that.
I was very thankful that you, at least were open. But it was hard to even get to that first place to begin with and even to be able to discuss finances. And with me, it was hard because it's not even like a pat on my back. But I will say I've always been solid with finances. I've always purposely lived below my means. When I got out of college, I had, like, a student loan, and I made a point to pay it all off. Within one year, I had quite a large savings. Large enough to pay for a wedding in cash, pay for vacations, and I bought a car with cash. It's like I have always just been a person who lived below my means. And then God saw fit to be paired with someone who you're probably complete opposite. At that period of time, yes.
[00:12:06] Speaker B: At that point in time, I was.
[00:12:08] Speaker A: All credit card, all credit card living. Probably way above your.
[00:12:16] Speaker B: Like, the concept of just buying a car all cash, that was like, the most impressive thing I've ever heard.
You know, you hear people like Dave Ramsey say stuff like that.
[00:12:29] Speaker A: It wasn't just, like, a cheap car, either. It was, like, a decently good.
It's just, it was hard for me to actually try to partner with you. One, because we kind of had our own way of doing things, and then two, it probably doesn't sound the best, because obviously I was marrying you, but I don't think I really trusted you in that area. I felt like maybe you haven't proven yourself to be trustworthy in that area. I don't know if that's healthy, unhealthy. But I think it was just difficult for me because I just didn't feel comfortable even combining funds. And so that was kind of an area that was difficult at first.
[00:13:11] Speaker B: Yeah, I think I remember you said that one of the red flags that popped up was whenever we would go on dates, you would see, like, a different credit card being used, and you.
[00:13:20] Speaker A: Thought you were showing off. But in the back of my mind, all I was thinking about is, why am I seeing different color cards? Every time I was trying to impress.
[00:13:28] Speaker B: You, I was like, oh, wow, he has so many credit card accounts.
[00:13:31] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:13:32] Speaker B: But the reality was I was trying to make sure none of them was maxing out.
[00:13:36] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah. And we had a couple of other instances. Our whole next episode would be about money. So other instances that I would see, that made me uncomfortable, I think, for you. I think you mentioned you struggled with independence, so.
[00:13:52] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:13:52] Speaker A: I don't know if you want to talk a little bit more on that, which is, I know at the beginning, you kind of almost. I don't want to say you felt like your independence was being crushed, but I don't know.
[00:14:02] Speaker B: Yeah, I remember just feeling, it felt like I didn't have to answer to anyone for a large portion of my was the biggest thing. And you go to the pre marriage or the pre wedding counseling and stuff, and so you know that you have to become one unit and whatnot. But the actual doing that was very difficult, like, realizing that, oh, every decision has to be made with her in mind. And I think for people that get married young, that's not, like, a foreign concept, but for someone who was like, oh, man, I still haven't met someone, I'm still not married, and I'm already 30. It's like, yeah, that wasn't a mindset, that.
It was just a weird kind of mindset.
[00:14:51] Speaker A: I mean, you think about it when, if you marry, like, at 29, 30.
[00:14:56] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:14:56] Speaker A: You've had more than a decade of being an adult.
[00:15:01] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:15:01] Speaker A: And so I think that was, like, the hardest part for us. Is that we had lived pretty much our entire adult lives, other than relationships here and there, but never combining funds, never having to fully answer anything.
[00:15:15] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:15:16] Speaker A: And so, like I said, our biggest issue was going from the individual mindset of me and what I want and what I desire, and then changing it to more of a we mindset.
[00:15:29] Speaker B: Yeah. The final thing I'll add is I was getting defensive in some areas because I was like, I've gotten this far in life without anyone's. Without anyone's help. I've done this on my own, and obviously God's help. But I would often think, like, who is she to think that I can't do this? Or who is she to say, I don't think you should do that? And I'd be like, no, I can do this. So it was letting go of that and realizing that you can go so much further if you just allow your spouse to be your partner and do things together and not get defensive, not be prideful.
[00:16:14] Speaker A: And I think another thing with that is that it's kind of one of those never ending. It's a process. It's continuous.
[00:16:21] Speaker B: Yes, it is.
[00:16:22] Speaker A: So it's like, even if you feel like, okay, we have some areas where you've achieved, where we're working together, we're being a team, there's still always another area or another incident that happens where we clearly see, like, we have more work to do. But I think overall, the biggest thing that I can kind of pull from what we've said is that we've realized that in order to just achieve anything together, we have to be a team. We have to be working together.
[00:16:50] Speaker B: Yeah. That's the big takeaway. We have to be a team.
[00:16:53] Speaker A: Yes. Or another way of saying it is being friends, wanting the best for each other and not just looking at ourselves and what we desire, but seeing your spouse as a friend and someone you want the best for and someone that you, I guess, would do anything for. And so whenever I feel like we shifted from being just our individual selves and then more of, like, how do we do this as a team, I feel like we were able to actually achieve goals and actually make a difference.
[00:17:29] Speaker B: I agree.
[00:17:29] Speaker A: Our marriage, things like that. So I guess just along the lines of that kind of after talking about the obstacles and realizing what we needed was to be a team and to work together, and that was kind of the big takeaway that we had, that we actually had to do this as friends.
I think it was just maybe last year. I'm always consuming content. I'm always trying to just see what's out there. And I was watching a YouTube video, and this girl who was talking, was talking about her and her husband, how they work together to achieve their goals. And one thing she talked about, and I've kind of heard this other places, but I've just never thought to do it for my own family, was that they got on the same page with creating a family mission, a family vision and values. And so in a business, so I'm from the business world, and so in your accounting classes or your management classes, even in your marketing classes, you learn about the importance of vision values and just kind of give a little definition to help. So a vision is going to tell you where you want to go. So it's more of a long term thing.
Mission is going to help you, how are you going to get there, what are you doing? Or to achieve your vision? And then values are the principles that you live by. And so after watching that, I brought the idea up to you, and you seemed to be in agreement that that's not something we should do. And so we ended up making our own family vision mission. We did values, and you made a cool little graphic with.
[00:19:17] Speaker B: It seems like forever ago.
[00:19:19] Speaker A: It does.
[00:19:20] Speaker B: Did you do it at the end of last year, or was it like the beginning of this year that we did that?
[00:19:24] Speaker A: We made the graphic this year? We've kind of always talked about it, but I felt like our marriage has been a whirlwind.
[00:19:33] Speaker B: It really has.
[00:19:34] Speaker A: Got married. Two months after that, I'm pregnant. Then I had the first kid. Seven months after that, I'm pregnant again.
[00:19:41] Speaker B: I know.
[00:19:41] Speaker A: Had the second kid. And so it's kind of like we knew that we wanted to do this, but we just honestly have not had a chance to breathe. Our first kid, which is a lot of learning experiences. And so we just kind of were in survival mode.
[00:19:57] Speaker B: But amidst job changes, job additions, all.
[00:20:03] Speaker A: That, it's been crazy.
But now I feel like. Not that we're in the clear, because I feel like. I don't know this jinxing work, but I feel like when you say you're in the clear, you get to look over your shoulder because you don't know what might come up. But at least it's felt more peaceful lately. And so with the added peace, we've been able to sit down, actually develop our own family vision, mission and values. And so I don't know if you want me to mention ours. I have a little picture of it, so I can go over it. I don't know if you find it.
[00:20:37] Speaker B: No, I think that's fine.
[00:20:39] Speaker A: I can look at ours real fast just to see. Does it recognize my face with the microphone? Sorry, guys, still getting used to all this. So a vision that we made up, not made up, that we prayed through and came up together is together we'll go far. And it's based off of african proverb that goes something along the lines of, if you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.
[00:21:07] Speaker B: That's what I was talking about. Yeah.
[00:21:09] Speaker A: And so we realized that apart, yes, we could do a lot of things, but we have things that we want to achieve as a couple. And so we have to always remember that together is how we're going to actually make it.
The Bible talks about in marriage how you're one. And so I feel like our vision is a reminder of that, that we are one unit and we're working together to achieve things.
[00:21:35] Speaker B: Yeah. And I think it's like, of course, things could get done outside of being one, but that's not the most ideal way. So when you finally surrender to that idea or that design, that's when things operate far more smoothly.
[00:21:54] Speaker A: Yeah. And then also with that, you're going to have individual goals. Like, there's things that I want to do, there's things that you want to do individually. But I think it's also important as a couple to have goals that you're working on together because you are one. And if you're just two individuals trying to achieve your two individual goals, then what's the point? I feel like that's honestly, we see, with our parents age, we see so many of their friends getting divorced.
Obviously, I don't have the answer for all that. I'm just barely two and a half years into my own marriage. I'm not the one to speak into everyone's marriages, but some that I guess have, like, as an outsider looking in.
[00:22:38] Speaker B: What'S the common denominator?
[00:22:40] Speaker A: Yeah. Something I've kind of noticed is that it appears that they were kind of, especially as their kids got older, maybe more focused on the kids, more focused and maybe not even having any goals together. Again, I don't know their lives, but this is just as an outsider looking in kind of things that I feel like I've noticed. And so that's why I love with our vision that it's saying, we are going to do this together, and together we'll go far.
[00:23:06] Speaker B: I like that. Yeah.
[00:23:08] Speaker A: The main thing. Sorry, I'm trying to use my face to do this and then our mission. So how we're going to do this is love God, love others. And so, as the Bible says, the greatest commandment it is. Yeah. So love God and then love others as much as you love yourself. And so that can include a lot of different things. And how we love God and our relationship with God, that's first and foremost.
[00:23:38] Speaker B: It is.
[00:23:39] Speaker A: And then after that, it's focusing on the others around us and making sure to not just look at our own needs, but to look at the needs of our family and then other people outside of our family.
[00:23:54] Speaker B: Yeah. I think that's so important to keep love God with a bunch of asterisks around it, because especially now, it's just so draining to try to love others, to try to love you, to try to love the kids, to try to love friends at church without genuinely having a love for God.
[00:24:14] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:24:14] Speaker B: And sometimes that love for God, it kind of just gets diluted or it fades away if you don't intentionally make time to love him.
[00:24:22] Speaker A: Yeah. And like with anything, and I've mentioned to you before, is that God is the source of all things. So God is the source. Everything else is a resource. Yes.
[00:24:35] Speaker B: I always love that quote.
[00:24:36] Speaker A: With that, even with love, we start with our love for God, and out of our genuine love for God, we're able to truly, genuinely love each other. Yes. We could have affection towards others without, I guess, technically having love for God. But true, genuine biblical love and truly, biblically loving our spouse or loving our kids only can come from the Lord because he is the true source of all.
[00:25:04] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:25:05] Speaker A: And then with that, we have a few values that we want to live by. And these are just kind of our family principles that we have. So I'll read those. So care enough to over communicate. I'm really big on communication.
[00:25:21] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:25:21] Speaker A: And the one thing is I don't want to play 20 questions to figure out what's going on. Yeah. No secrets. No. If you beating around something, yes.
I want you to throw it in my face. I want to know exactly what's going on.
[00:25:36] Speaker B: This is what's going on. This is what's.
[00:25:38] Speaker A: Yes. So that's when we've walked through together, you to walk through.
[00:25:42] Speaker B: And it's like I try to sugarcoat too many things.
[00:25:44] Speaker A: It's like, don't sugarcoat it with me. I care enough to over communicate. I got that from one of my, sorry, guys, pastor friends that I was working in his ministry, and he had that as one of his principles. And I'm like, you know what? I love that simple and straightforward? Yes. I want everyone to over communicate with me. I want to hear the truth. That's the only way changes can be made. And I feel like that's the way to connect.
The other one we have is make it fun. And I think just because life can be not just boring, but it can just be tough, really tough. It can just be with some things, just like, as much as we can, as much as it depends on us, I just try to make life fun, make it enjoyable. Let's have fun together. Let's have fun as a couple. Let's go out on dates. Let's go on silly, crazy dates. That doesn't matter.
[00:26:40] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. It's just making every moment spontaneously enjoyable as much as possible.
[00:26:48] Speaker A: Sometimes in the middle of a tantrum, you're not going to be like, go into song and dance number or anything.
[00:26:54] Speaker B: Sometimes you do that.
[00:26:55] Speaker A: Yeah, I do. But that's just me. Our son loves our. Well, I'm going to say he loves my choreography. He hasn't said anything, but he usually stops crying when I start doing a little dance number, a little high school musical dance number, I do my little pump and then everything. And he seems to enjoy it. Yes. Clap. All that. The last two better together, and then the last one is health is wealth, and better together still just goes along with our whole thing is, yes, we can achieve things on our own, but it's better if we do it together. And then with health as wealth, it's just not just health physically, which we're slowly but surely trying to prioritize, especially after pregnancy cravings and all that. And trying to lose weight from having the two kids so close together and.
[00:27:47] Speaker B: Me having sympathy weight gain.
[00:27:49] Speaker A: Yeah, I always feel like you have an excuse.
[00:27:53] Speaker B: I really do. I just love food too much.
[00:27:56] Speaker A: I think you like to say that it's sympathy weight game, because it's like.
[00:28:00] Speaker B: An annual sympathy weight game. But I'm not even sympathize or empathizing weight.
[00:28:07] Speaker A: You're just eating all the cookies and not leaving any for me.
Yeah, I know. Then you always say, oh, I'll buy you some. No, you won't.
[00:28:14] Speaker B: The strawberry wafers.
[00:28:16] Speaker A: Yeah. The Oreos. The raspberry cookies. I can name all the cookies that you have consumed because it looks like.
[00:28:23] Speaker B: You'Re not eating it.
[00:28:24] Speaker A: I just eat it at a slower pace than you, but you don't even wait for me. I was like, oh, where are those raspberry cookies?
[00:28:30] Speaker B: Well, by the time you get to it, like after a week upon opening it, it's going to be all dry and stale and everything.
[00:28:37] Speaker A: Let me make that determination. Let me determine if I want to eat my dry.
[00:28:42] Speaker B: Okay, fine.
[00:28:44] Speaker A: Cookie.
[00:28:44] Speaker B: You do have it with milk, so I guess that adds the moisture.
[00:28:46] Speaker A: Yeah. So I know what I'm doing.
Before marriage, I didn't know I had to eat stuff at a fast pace. I used to just enjoy my cookies slowly, but not anymore. I look and it's all, you know what?
[00:28:59] Speaker B: No. That is going to be a resolution.
[00:29:01] Speaker A: Okay. I think you say every six months that you're going to lose weight.
[00:29:07] Speaker B: That's going to happen.
[00:29:07] Speaker A: Have a 24 pack.
[00:29:13] Speaker B: I'm just now going to start striving. No, I am.
[00:29:15] Speaker A: I feel like it's kind of a resolution. Every month.
[00:29:19] Speaker B: It is.
[00:29:19] Speaker A: And it's like, in the next six months, I will be this.
[00:29:23] Speaker B: No, mark my words, everyone. By the end of this year, you will start to see an outline of 24 pack abs. And I will stop eating tons of sweets.
[00:29:32] Speaker A: I just hear crickets. I don't think anyone is.
We'll see.
[00:29:38] Speaker B: Of course, the camera decided to stop recording at this point in the conversation. When we get back, we're going to be markedly more serious in conversation, so don't let that throw you off. God willing, when we're bigger podcasters, this break would be for some kind of commercial response. If you are enjoying the content so far, go ahead and smash that like button and please subscribe to our channel. We are very, very excited to have you be part of our family. Let's get back to the show.
[00:30:04] Speaker A: So with that, with the first step, with us making our goals and I guess kind of becoming a team and how we made ourselves a team is, like I said, we made a vision, a mission, and then we talked about what our values are, and then that's kind of set for the entire family. So that's something you do once and you can always go back to it because life changes. But overall, this is kind of what your family stands for. And so at least that's what we did it for ourselves. This is what we stand for. And so we kind of told ourselves, any goals that we make any year needs to align with our vision, our mission and our values. And so if we're making goals, the first thing we have to always consider is just what are we standing for? What is our mission? What is our vision, what is our values? And then how do we achieve that? And our goals each year are what essentially help us to achieve what our family essentially stands for. And so then with that, so once we kind of have that in place. The next step that we did was just review over the previous year and just see in general, how did that align with our values? How did that align with our mission? How did that align with our vision? And then also with that, what were some highlights of the year? What were some really down parts of the year? And I don't know if you wanted to add anything with kind of like our review of the year.
[00:31:42] Speaker B: I really enjoyed the process. I think the big, enjoyable takeaways that I got from it was just reflecting on the long term goals I had leading up to last year. So I was really, really grateful that I finally was able to make a shift into a career field that I really, really enjoy now. And how did that align with some of the more annoying things I had to address later in life, like the paying off of student loans and this and that? There's a lot more alignment and a lot more clear. There's like a clearer path of how things are going to play out like a decade from now or whatever.
[00:32:26] Speaker A: Yeah. And then even with our review, so it's not just career stuff, but then as a family, it's like, so what were some of our highlights as a family? It was like having our first, not having our first kid, having our second kid.
[00:32:40] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:32:41] Speaker A: Our first kid's birthday, other things that we really enjoyed. So, like our spa days that we went to. And then also with our review, it was looking at things that were kind of painful during the year. And I know we'll touch on this in a lot more detail later, but with a very difficult job loss that really shifted things, but allowed you to get into the career that you're in now, but doesn't mean it wasn't painful. And so just kind of the whole process is looking through each month talking about what we liked, what we didn't like, and just really evaluating what our year looked like. And then with evaluating that and in light of our vision, mission and values, we're able to preview what we want to do this year. So that act is called review, and we're reviewing over what we went over. The next thing we did was preview, and that's preview what we want to achieve in this year. And so together with considering all things what happened last year, our mission, vision, values, we were able to make some goals for this year.
[00:33:55] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:33:56] Speaker A: And so I don't know if we want to go over any of our goals. You can maybe mention a couple. I know one of our goals was to start a podcast, which is crazy that we're doing it and just kind of everything it took to get.
[00:34:14] Speaker B: To get to this moment.
[00:34:16] Speaker A: What other goal do we have?
[00:34:18] Speaker B: Another big one for this year is just connecting with friends again?
[00:34:22] Speaker A: Yes, it's another story for another day, but it's been a really challenging last couple of years.
We're sort of trying to figure everything out with kind of what happened with our oldest kid. Sometimes has trouble acclimating to things, and just with trying to figure all that out. It's been really difficult trying to connect with people. But we made it a point this year that we were going to be intentional about it, and there were some trial and error. We had some instances where we were leaving a church service with a crying toddler and zooming out, hoping that no one noticed us.
[00:35:08] Speaker B: Great.
[00:35:09] Speaker A: We've had things where we try to connect where just missed things and didn't really connect well, people there. But we decided that as a family, we were going to make an effort to really connect with others.
[00:35:25] Speaker B: I know that we gave me the theme word of commitment. So yeah, I am excited about me leading our family committedly in trying to stay in connection with people and just stay in tune with others.
[00:35:44] Speaker A: Yeah, we each kind of got our own words for this year, but they ended up working together. So yours is commitment, and then mine was intentional. And so it's like both of these together. What's leading our 2024 is that we are making intentional efforts to connect with people, and then whatever we're doing to connect with people, or our intentional efforts to start this podcast, but then with that, we're committing to whatever we're doing. So we're going to commit to this podcast for bare minimum, a year, but we're hoping a lot longer than a year, hopefully. And then also committing to trying to either revive friendships that maybe have kind of gone not in the same direction because of life and kids and all that, and just kind of committing to connecting with new people and people from before. And so those are kind of like our two main goals. And one thing that really kind of helped us with, I guess, making strive to this goal is, I know, together we're trying to read books together. That's one way we stayed, definitely because of just life's craziness. We're not usually able to read actual physical books, but we listen to a lot of audiobooks. And so our first one we listened to this year was atomic habits, and I listened to it the first time last year I heard about it on a podcast. He was kind of doing his rounds on the podcast circuits last year, and I love leadership podcasts. So he was on like two or three that I actually listened to. The author was absolutely. And so I just fell in love with the book. When I first he was talking about, I'm like, this sounds like right up my alley. And basically his whole point is making goals is not enough, but we need to make habits that help us to achieve our goals. And so he describes what a habit needs to be. I have it on my little list.
[00:37:45] Speaker B: Let's hear it.
[00:37:47] Speaker A: All right. So he tells us, and I agree, for a habit to start, we need to make it obvious, make it attractive, make it easy, and make it satisfying. And he goes into detail what all of these mean and he has on his website. So I don't want to use too much time talking about each one, but I think it's thinking about what we have been trying to achieve this year and our goals that we have. So connecting with friends or starting the podcast, we had to kind of develop habits that hit these key areas in order to do it. So I was thinking for the podcast, how do we make this habit obvious? One is literally buying the stuff and setting everything up, setting a time, babysitters, all that just in our face. We are going to do the podcast today.
[00:38:40] Speaker B: The equipment is here. It's obvious you have to do something with it.
[00:38:43] Speaker A: Yes. And then make it attractive.
[00:38:46] Speaker B: We kind of go hand in hand.
[00:38:47] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, it does go hand in hand. And with the podcast it was, let's not splurge, but let's invest in some.
[00:38:55] Speaker B: Things that will make it pleasing to the eye and make it fun to actually do.
[00:39:00] Speaker A: And so we had to buy some equipment, we had to do other things, and trial and error with how the room looked and all that. So that was another thing, make it easy. And so with the podcast, it's getting babysitters in, because what would be really difficult? Trying to do a podcast with two screaming kids and trying to line the nap times and wondering, talking really fast because we're afraid that someone's going to wake up. And so it's making it easy on ourselves. And instead of just saying, oh, we're going to do a podcast, we actually have to plan. Yes, we actually plan all the logistics and then make it satisfying. And so satisfying can be different things to different people. To me, just achieving a goal is satisfying, but it could really be anything depending on what the goal is. And so I feel like this year, at least with a couple of our goals, with those, we really try to make sure we have had habits that have hit all of these things, making sure that what we're doing actually aligns with our goals. And so that's kind of all I have.
[00:40:15] Speaker B: I have something to add to that. Yeah, I think my favorite quote, there's a whole bunch of quotes that are framable from that book, but my favorite is your lifestyle is a byproduct of your habits. And I feel like the lifestyle that we now have, because we've been married for two and a half years, two and a half years. But it's like this most recent iteration or what our lifestyle has become, it's more polished, it's not as rough, because we now have habits in place, and they're tangible habits, they're enjoyable habits, and they're habits that benefit all of us as a family unit.
[00:40:56] Speaker A: Yeah, we have kind of new habits we develop for this podcast. So it's like setting a time, setting a place, the habit of having sitters here so that we can do it. But I mean, with other things we've achieved, whether it's like getting our budget together or really, I think that's probably the biggest one we have other stuff like with designing stuff in the house or just doing things together.
[00:41:23] Speaker B: Right.
[00:41:23] Speaker A: It's like just having the goal is a lot of times not enough. It's like, how do we get to this goal? And so one of my favorite things I like to say with it is that your hours make up your days, your days make up your weeks, your weeks make up your months, and your months make up your years. It cannot be truer how I spend my hours or makes up how I spend my days, so on and so forth. So if there's something I want to be done by the end of this year, I need to make sure I am aligning my hours and my days exactly in order to achieve whatever I'm trying to achieve. And so these hours and days need to contain the habits that allow me to achieve my goals or our goals together.
And I think with that, which is sometimes hard for me as a big goal achiever, and you as well, is, there are some caveats to it. So there are some things that we tried to achieve this year that we already have kind of realized may not be the time yet. And so I know one that we attempted to achieve was obviously, our goal is to have a spiritually strong family. And so one of our habits we try to put in place was to go to church every single weekend. And so we started that at the beginning of the year, we were going, and it was good until it wasn't because just kind of difficulties with our oldest son. He doesn't like going to childcare, but then he's too rambunctious to stay in an auditorium. And so it was just very difficult. And it kind of got in conflict with our goals or our words of the year, of being intentional, being committed, and we wanted to just fight for it so hard. But I feel like just being honest with yourself, sometimes life shows you that the way you're trying to go about it or the habit you're trying to form may not be the right habit in this season.
[00:43:29] Speaker B: Yeah. And sometimes there's a solution that comes up because of that, but that solution isn't always apparent until the failing of trying to meet another goal. So in what you just said from that, we found a small group that we are very excited to join. And so maybe that is going to be our way of getting our spiritually strong foundation.
[00:43:57] Speaker A: Yeah. And I think back, yeah, 100%, I think we realize that.
I kind of already mentioned that sometimes the habit you're trying to form isn't the right habit in the season, but you can still achieve the goal. That's right. Our goal is to connect with people. And so maybe Sunday mornings don't work for our son right now. Maybe the come and go and the kind of. The craziness, chaoticness, the loudness of it. Yes. Maybe it just doesn't work for him right now. So we've been kind of watching online, but the overall goal of connecting with a church family can still be achieved. We can still be part of a small group. We can still connect with people during the week. So we still achieve that goal of coming together with other believers and growing in Christ together. That's right. Versus just trying to be super focused on achieving one, or trying to accomplish a habit that maybe is not the right habit, or trying to make something a habit that maybe can't be a habit in that season. In this season. Just kind of be open to that. Exactly. I think the last thing I'll kind of say about it is that I think the other thing I had to remind myself is that I'm not a robot. Meaning that not every day is going to be a day that's successful for the habits I'm trying to achieve.
[00:45:25] Speaker B: That's very true. That's a good reminder.
[00:45:27] Speaker A: So sometimes one of my habits is to be healthier, and that's my goal. And one of my habits is to take my vitamins every day. But sometimes things happen and get to the end of the day. And I realize, oh, my gosh, I didn't take it, I didn't set it out, I didn't prepare for it, and I can change and the next day make sure that I achieve it. But I have to also give myself grace in really any area that this is just kind of a crazy, busy season. And as much as I really want to accomplish all my goals and follow the habits that I'm trying to set in place every single time, just sometimes life happens and it just doesn't get achieved.
But I think the ultimate thing is to still strive for it, but to have grace for when it doesn't happen. But don't let a bad day become a bad week, become a bad month, get back on it and continue to try to achieve things.
[00:46:34] Speaker B: I think that's such a good reminder. Whether or not you're married or you have a family or large family or a small family, it doesn't matter. I think a lot of people, they don't give themselves enough grace. And so when they mess up that one time, like, for example, just New Year's resolutions, they feel like, oh, my gosh, why did I give in? Or why did I mess this streak up of good, healthy habits? And then they let that be the reason. If I messed up and I broke my record of, like, I went 17 days of clean eating and then I messed up on the 18th day, they just stop because they feel so bummed out about it. But you have to adopt the mindset of this is like a lifelong change, and that's, like, too broad. It's like, I'm going to do this for a whole year. It's the essence of being healthy for the whole year. And even if you mess up just one day, you did 17 consecutive days of being more healthy, so it's fine having more grace.
[00:47:28] Speaker A: That's what I'm thinking of. The whole year is overwhelming. And so just thinking of it, taking it day by day, day by day, whatever it is. And it's like maybe you didn't follow the plan you had for yourself that day. Such when you have young kids, you might have the plan of waking up and working out, but then your kid wakes up at four in the morning and they don't go back to sleep till 07:00 a.m. And all the things, especially when you have two young kids and the youngest one is needing to feed and all of those things. And so it's just giving yourself grace. And especially in this season of being young parents, I feel like, man, my heart has grown for families and young families.
[00:48:11] Speaker B: Yes, mine, too.
[00:48:12] Speaker A: Because I feel like before, I could easily be judgmental before even becoming a parent, but now being a parent, I feel like, man, my heart is for young families. And knowing that, just give yourself Grace. Not every day, pretty much no day is the same. So follow your goals the best you can. But if there is a day, two days, sometimes three days of just kind of chaos, everyone has the flu like that. Grace is the word.
[00:48:40] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:48:42] Speaker A: I think that's important with anytime you're setting goals and working together, that in the long run, we're still always working towards achieving our goals, but making sure that in these efforts to achieve the goals that we are giving ourselves this grace, being patient with ourselves and just having that for ourselves and for each other.
[00:49:07] Speaker B: Yeah, that's good. I like it.
[00:49:09] Speaker A: Right. Well, I don't know if you have anything else to add. I feel like we have.
[00:49:15] Speaker B: I don't have anything else to add in terms of that, but I do have the. Or do you have the four names?
[00:49:23] Speaker A: Yes.
For those of you who are just kind of tuning in, I don't know which camera to look at. Am I looking here? Am I looking there? Sorry, guys. We're still getting everything worked out. But on our instagram, we decided to have a little giveaway. So we said on the first episode, we would randomly select four people to get a $50 Amazon gift card. So we'll be contacting the people, we'll contact them in their handles to get their emails, to send the Amazon gift cards to them, but to use my face again. So excuse me for a moment.
All right, I'm excited. So I won't say the last names. I'll say the first names. And then we will. Drum roll, please. Okay.
Very nice, love. All right, so we have Adriana, Katie, Ryan and Cameron.
[00:50:13] Speaker B: Nice.
[00:50:14] Speaker A: And so we will contact you guys today. We're recording it on a. So. But by the time you see this episode, you have already been contacted. Or actually, no, you won't. Because then that kind of throws off the.
[00:50:26] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:50:27] Speaker A: So you'll see the episode and then that Friday, we will contact you.
[00:50:32] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:50:33] Speaker A: And you'll give us your email and we'll send you guys the gift card.
[00:50:36] Speaker B: Yeah. Excellent.
[00:50:37] Speaker A: All right, well, I don't know if you have anything else to say. Are you all good?
[00:50:42] Speaker B: I am all good. It was so fun finally kicking this off.
[00:50:45] Speaker A: Yes. It's crazy. It's probably going to be a heck of an editing job because it's the first time and there's probably some rambles in there, but I know it's all good. You have to get the little jitters out, or as you say, the heebie GB's out.
[00:50:59] Speaker B: The Jeepers creepers.
[00:51:00] Speaker A: Yeah, sure. All right. Well, I guess, should we say bye to them, like and subscribe?
[00:51:06] Speaker B: Yes. If you really enjoyed this content and you want to see more guys, be sure to like and subscribe to our channel.
[00:51:12] Speaker A: And if you did enjoy it, just go ahead and like.
[00:51:14] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:51:15] Speaker A: You don't have to subscribe. Just getting subscribed.
[00:51:17] Speaker B: Just make us feel a little better.
[00:51:18] Speaker A: Leave us a comment telling us you're doing a great job.
[00:51:21] Speaker B: Yes, we appreciate it, but that's it for today. And until next time, be blessed. Thank you, guys.
[00:51:28] Speaker A: All right, let's. I'm gonna dump.
